reFORM Studios

No more fear of the mirror

Marie recounts a new milestone in her reFORM School program.

When it’s time to step on the scale I’m always thinking about the food changes I have made and how they better be worth it. I know deep down the changes have been worth it on many levels. I really have enjoyed some of the new foods I’ve tried, but I certainly miss some of my old favorites. I’ve had to move many foods from my ‘regular’ list to the ‘once in a blue moon’ list. I search for new recipes every Sunday for the following week. When I stepped on the scale at the end of week 9 I experienced a positive outcome. It read out 153.4. I haven’t seen that number in years! So far I have lost 15.6 pounds. My mom even commented how my new jeans for work were getting loose. I think I have finally started to accept that I am losing weight. Don’t get me wrong I know 15.6 pounds is significant, but I wasn’t seeing myself any differently until this past week.What do you see in the mirror I help at the bus loop every afternoon and there are two double glass doors the students exit from. In the afternoon the sun hits them just right and it causes me to see myself every time I turn around to catch runners. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t afraid to look at my reflection in the doors. I glanced the first time and the second time I starred. I saw weight loss. My arms looked different. My stomach didn’t stick out. I saw a desperate need for new pants. My belt can’t tighten any more without causing the pants to gather funny in the back. The reflection in the glass doors moment couldn’t have come at a better time.  I was starting to hear the voice of negativity in the back of my head. It was telling me things were getting too hard and I needed to quit. This voice was telling me I was trying to do too many things and being lazy was so much easier. I heard this for several days in a row.  My mom actually called me out on it. She heard me being negative and she didn’t let it slide.  I was being negative about my graduate class the week before. Being negative isn’t my normal outlook so my mom helped me by being mom. I hate admitting it happened, but it did.  I’m glad I ignored the voice of negativity. Let’s go week 10!

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